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Melissa TilghmanEditor-in-Chief of the My Toy For Joy
As a submissive, your primary concern is how to please your Dom so that he can keep coming back. However, if you are a beginner submissive, you may not satisfy your partner because you do not know what the role entails. Learning how to please a Dom is a lot of work emotionally, mentally, and sexually, and may require practice and commitment to hacking. But, once you learn the submission tips, you will effortlessly serve your master without fear of being abused or suffering a sub drop.
What Being Submissive Means?
Many misconceptions around how to please your Dom need clarification. The most popular belief is that to be submissive is to accept violence and abuse. This isn’t true. Subs are humans with feelings who need and deserve respect and care at all times. If you’re submissive, select your Dom carefully so that you do not fall victim to someone who will abuse you in the name of pleasure. So, who is a sub, and is it a healthy desire?
To be submissive is to be compliant, obedient, and give up control to your Dominant. Subs crave the need to be used and to serve and can take up many roles, including pets or slaves. An excellent submissive knows how to please a Dominant man at all times and not just sexually. Thus, she needs to continually learn how to be a good submissive who can give up some of her preferences and personal freedom. As a sub, you need to conduct yourself respectably at all times and accept discipline when needed.
Here are some submissive tips on how to please your Dom.
How to please your dominant
Choose the right Dom
If you want to enjoy your role as a sub, you need to choose your Dom wisely. There are all sorts of Doms out there; some are good, while others are predators looking for someone to abuse. These are dangerous people who will not mind about you or your safety. If someone is coercing you to enter the submissive lifestyle, know that they are up to something terrible. Do not fall prey to them; you may fall into their trap and not enjoy your role as a sub. Before you choose a Dom, ensure that they are attractive and are mindful of your well-being.
Know Your Dom Well
If you want to know how to please your Dom, you first need to know them well. You need to learn as much as possible about them as a person and as a sexual being. Learn about what he likes and how he likes it, his dislikes, and what puts him off. It is completely normal if you will ask about his likes and dislikes. If you know how to please a dominant woman or man, you will know and anticipate their next moves without them telling you. You will know when to speak and when to keep quiet, when to serve him food and when to turn on the TV, and so much more. Although learning to be a good submissive may take time, when you finally do, you will embrace the joy of being of service to your Master.
Call your Dom Properly
Sometimes, if you are not sure of how to please your Master, just call him with the name he insists on. Calling them “Sir” or “Master” or whatever name they prefer is already an act of submission to their demands. If your Dom is a lady, you can call her “Madam,” “Mistress,” or “Ma’am.” However, it would be best if you asked them the name they prefer. When you call a Dom by a proper name, he or she gets off knowing that they are in control, and someone is looking up to them for guidance. Avoid “dirty” names unless he or she is okay with it. Also, express submission when addressing your Dom by using words such as “please sir,” “excuse me”, “I am begging you”, and “I am sorry”. This gives him pleasure and makes him feel that you know how to be a good slave.
Read the Mood of your Dom
In your relationship with your Dom, there will be times that he wants silence around him. You really must know when he is in this mood; otherwise, you will frustrate or make him angry. It may be frustrating, but remember your role as a sub and stick to it. You need to understand that your Master needs personal space now and then. Also, read the mood during those steamy sessions and know what dirty things to say during sex. If he is not in the mood for the dirty talks, patiently follow his command.
Both Dom and sub have a responsibility to play in the relationship. While a Dom has a responsibility to be strong, understanding, commanding, and forgiving, a sub also has a responsibility. If you want to know how to be a good sub in bed or around your Dom, know your responsibilities. Some of your duties include having realistic expectations and ensuring your partner is comfortable, communicating, and consistent.
Part of your responsibility also including cleaning and storing the 50 shades of grey sex toys, making them available when needed.
What else do you have to keep in mind as a submissive? Let us know below.