All content and media on the My Toy For Joy Website is created and published online for informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice and should not be relied on as health or personal advice.
Melissa TilghmanEditor-in-Chief of the My Toy For Joy
Kink and fetishes are vast and can be about almost anything, even the most mundane thing lying around you. Fetishes are erotic obsessions with an object or a body part while kinks are erotic inclinations to some activity that causes immense excitement in the course of sex. Wax play is among the commonest kinks and is practiced by partners all over the world.
However, BDSM wax play can be dangerous and burn or scar you for life if not done rightly. Moreover, everything is more fun if you do your research well. That way you can go about using the right kind of thing and do the ritual in the best way possible.
What Is A Wax Play?
Wax play is often associated with BDSM but in reality, it is practiced by a lot of people who are not into BDSM. Even the most vanilla of partners might like to drip wax all over the body during foreplay.
However, you are not to pour a glass of hot wax on your partner’s body for arousal but drip it gently. Wax can get messy and may include some sting no matter how careful you are about it, but again, that’s the point of the kink.
Wax Play Safe Precautions
We have all come across the adage, “safety is better than cure” and it is time to apply it. Wax is a hot liquid that has the potential of burning your skin and thus when you think of engaging in foreplay that involves such an item, it is needless to say that you must take precautions.
To begin with, make sure you are using only body-safe wax otherwise you run the risk of allowing candle toxins into your body. Every type of wax won’t burn your body. Think of waxing for hair removal, it is way less stingy than your regular candle wax. Thus choose the right wax because different kinds affect the skin differently.
Melt the candles at the right temperature and do not go overboard with dripping. Come up with a safe word and stop immediately if your partner utters it.
Do not be drunk or force your candle wax play on another person.
What Candles Can Be Used?
Like we already mentioned, do not grab the first candle you can lay your hands on and begin lighting and dripping it on your partner’s body. Here’s a list of materials that can be used to make a safe BDSM candle
- [SAFE & LONG LASTING] - Re-light a second and even third time with lovley lites 1 inch high Tea Light Candles. The soy wax sits in aluminum tin casings, safe and recyclable. Candles in a clear, plastic cup are often not recyclable or it melts to become a fire hazard
- [BURN SAFE & CLEAN] - Candles made with soy wax are a friendlier option that burns with less soot. Smooth tops, a premium wick in a round silver casing provide a safe and relaxing experience, and should keep the flying insects at bay, too
- [SPECIAL GIFT} - A box set of candles makes a meaningful gift for wedding or baby shower, birthday or just because. Whether for yourself or someone else, a glass candle holder gift completes the set so light a candle, and enjoy creating your mood, today!
- [SELECTION] - Look for other products by Lovley Lites: 36 Soy Unscented Tealight Candles + 36 Soy Vanilla Tealight Candles, each box with a complimentary candle holder, randomly selected. Have fun and collect all four
- [CARE & CUSTOMER] - You are important to us and we are excited to hear your honest feedback so we may improve on design, quality, quantity and more. If you are not completely satisfied please return for a refund within 30 days from purchase
If you are not into BDSM and only love the idea of wax dripping on your partner or yourself (with limited pain), you are probably looking for some low temp candles. The melting point of soy candles is 54 degrees C. A 100% soy candle can be dripped on the body and will not fully harden- that’s how low its melting point is. This wax will be cooler and thus sting you less.
- SET THE MOOD: These tall tapered candles feature an elegant design that is suitable for restaurants, special events and parties. Their classic look complements almost any decor.
- CRAFTED WITH QUALITY: Imported from Europe and made with 100% paraffin wax and pure cotton wicks, these high quality candles burn cleanly and do not drip or create a mess.
- A ROMANTIC TOUCH: Spice up the romance with a candlelit dinner with your loved one. With a universal fit, they fit most candlesticks and candelabras - perfect for indoor and outdoor use.
- CEREMONIAL OR TABLE LIGHT: These aroma free Shabbat candles are perfect for weddings ceremonies, holidays and religious events. Perfect for use in Synagogues and churches.
- DRIPLESS: It's not magic, a "dripless" candle, is an ideal blend of hard wax and a perfectly sized wick. But for a dripless candle to remain dripless, burning conditions must be ideal. The candle has to stand up vertically, not even at a slight angle. Keep the dripless candle away from drafts (air conditioning, fans, outdoors, window draft) as well, as a slight breeze could cause the flame to flare up larger than usual or to touch areas of wax that it normally wouldn't reach, causing drips.
It is a petroleum product and thus the melting point is higher (57 degrees celsius) and perfect for BDSM for it allows your partner to feel the sadist pain that you want to inflict him/her with.
Although they hurt more, they are not toxic to the body
Candles and Ingredients to Avoid
- Beeswax candles: Stay away from beeswax as they melt at 64 degrees celsius. Although it may not seem too much higher than soy, trust us, they are capable of inflicting you with blisters and scar you for life.
- Dyed candles: Introducing dyes can alter the melting point which might lead to some unanticipated results.
- Scented candles: Scented candles too alter the melting point and the chemicals used can be harmful to your body as well. If you really want the room to smell as fresh as lavender or any other flavor, you can simply light scented candles and use unscented ones on the body.
- Stearin: Stearin is generally used in candle making as it makes the material harder and easy to use. But we do not want candles that are too hard. The harder a candle is, the higher the melting point will be. This means your wax will be extremely hot and can burn your skin.
- Metallic candles: Metallic candles can be very harmful to your skin. Metallic salts are poisonous and are extremely capable of burning and scarring. Sure you do not want that.
Wax Play Guidelines
Test on Yourself
Before you use your sex candles on the other person, make sure you check it on your skin. In case your sub is accustomed to a higher degree of pain, you might wanna do a patch test on him/her first before going in with the play full-fledged.
A safeword is extremely important and is counted among the wax play basics. Even with the best precautions, wax play can be painful and the idea of this is not torture but fun (for both parties) and thus do not take your sub for granted and allow him/her to use a safe word when it becomes painful or torturous.
Only coming up with a safe word won’t do but you must also respect it and stop immediately it is uttered.
Before you begin, you must be prepared for the worst. In case the wax burns your partner’s or your skin, you must keep a bucket of warm water ready and waiting by your side.
Do not keep cold water as when cold water is splashed on a burnt area, the skin gets a massive shock which can lead to gory listers and worsening of the burn. Thus if you see the situation go out of your hand, splash some warm water and wait for it to cool down on the skin itself.
Also, keep an over-the-counter burn medicine handy. Although if you use the right material and follow guidelines, there should be no place for errors.
Get Necessary Gear
- Waterproof sheets, environmentally friendly PVC material, through EU standards, no irritation to the skin, safe and reliable material, safe to use
- Suitable for lubricating oil massage, SPA clubs, essential oil massage, couples sex, a variety of ways to play waiting for your discovery
- Thick and durable, easy to use, easy to clean, just rinse with water after use
- Fold and store after use. After folding, it is small in size, lightweight and portable. It can also be carried when traveling and vacationing. couples honeymoon, let you enjoy the fun of lubrication
- Please measure the width of the bed before buying, it is wide enough so that it will not wet the mattress and make you play happier
Latex sheets allow you to get on your hot wax play without the fear of messing up the bed or floors. The PVC will prevent any wax from penetrating the sheet. It is a must-buy. There are several affordable latex sheets available in the market.
- Inflated border that keeps your bed mess free
- Easy to clean
- Country of origin is United States
A vinyl massage tray ensures that no body fluid or anything ruins your bedding and it stays just as good as new after you and your partner are done.
These come with inflatable borders that are excellent in holding anything that you do not wish gets slipped on your bed sheet.
- Approximate Product Dimensions: Fitted Queen Sheet; Total Length: 80 in. (203.2 cm), Width/Diameter: 60 in. (152.4 cm), Depth: 13 in. (330 mm)
- One Fluid-Proof Sheet Suitable for All Liquid Play
- Leakproof Heat-Sealed Seams | Soft, Breathable Material
- 13 In. Pocket Accommodates Thick Mattresses | Fully Elasticized Corners
- Machine Washable
Wet sheets are great for couples who love to play dirty and naughty. You can get all wet and sweaty and need not worry about staining your bedding. No lube, wax, or fluid will escape this sheet.
Besides that, the feel on the skin is amazing too. It feels soft and smooth to the skin. They are a little expensive but totally worth it.
Restrain Your Partner
Although this is optional, it is among the commonly used wax play techniques. You can get a complete set of bondage restraints that would typically include cuffs, bonding straps, etc. it gives you an immense sense of control and amplifies the effect of the play.
Hot Oil Massage
If you drip the hot wax onto cold skin, it might get shocked and the skin will have an unanticipated burn. To avoid such an accident, you can warm up the body using hot oil. Warm up somebody oil mildly and start massaging it all over your partner’s body. This will prep up the skin for hot wax.
Hot oil massages are extremely sexy and erotic. It will not only prepare the skin but also build up eroticism. You can initiate foreplay right from this stage and also begin some teasing. Touch and massage the erogenous zones of your partner’s body but do not give them all. Tease and titillate them. Make them beg for more.
Light the Candle
Now comes the most important part, the one you have been eagerly waiting for. Light one of your wax play candles and let it burn for 20 to 30 minutes. Just before beginning, accumulate the wax for a sec or two. Just when the temperature drops a bit, but the wax has not solidified, drip it on your partner.
Do not hold the candle too close to the body. Let it drop from a height that allows the wax to cool down a bit further. Avoid dripping in the same place over and over. The skin gets sensitive and overexposure to hot wax may lead to scarring or even burn. Explore other parts and later come back to the same spot.
Do not drop hot wax in areas that have a lot of hair or extra sensitive areas such as the pubic area. It will be extremely difficult and painful to remove the wax from a hairy area.
How to Remove Wax?
Removing the wax is not the most difficult part. You can simply use a plastic card to scrape off the hardened wax. If you are into hardcore BDSM, use a whip for the same purpose.
Do not forget to cuddle your partner after the session. Words of affection and love are very important after BDSM otherwise it affects the sub’s mental and physical health.
A hot wax play must end with some kind of soothing massage. You can use aloe vera gel or ice to soothe the affected skin. This massage again could be erotic and lead to sex as well. But do not let the skin sit without some kind of cooling gel after the session.
Heat Play Alternative Options
Hot rocks are an amazing alternative for couples who love temperature play but are not ready to take the step of wax play yet. These are great things, to begin with. They are not as hot as candles but are warm and soothing to the skin. Using these is almost like a spa.
They can be used with any kind of massage oil and lubricant. They are extremely user-friendly, all you need to do is read the instruction once thoroughly before you get into the play.
They come in a set of 9 pebbles and can be heated for extra pleasure and massage. Hot stone massage comes with its health benefits.
Hot Massage Oil
An all-natural oil can be really beneficial to both your mind and body. It can relax and prepare you for an upcoming BDSM session. You can always heat up the oil to enhance the temp play quotient.
Use your favorite vibrator, dildo, and BDSM toys with this oil and experience the most erotic foreplay.
Most oils also have body-enhancing ingredients that are also great for your skin. The make-out session will leave you glowing from both outside and within.
This indeed is a great alternative if you love temp play but do not want to use wax.
We hope this article has helped you comprehend wax play better. Whether you are a newbie or hesitant about this fetish, abide by our wax play tips and techniques to get your desired results without harming your partner or yourself. We believe we have also given you enough alternatives to play with. You can either replace them with wax play or use them together. However you decide to go about, you are in for some fun ride, mate.
Let us know in the comment what you love about temp play. Feel free to ask us any questions and we will get back to you shortly.
- 1 What Is A Wax Play?
- 2 What Candles Can Be Used?
- 3 Wax Play Guidelines
- 4 How to Remove Wax?
- 5 Heat Play Alternative Options
- 6 Final Word